Being Friends with Your Ex

One of the hardest things that people go through is breaking up with their partner. This can be emotional and painful. It is harder when you’ve been with this person for a long time. Now, if your ex wants to stay friends after breaking up, it might be tempting for you, but you need to understand what this means.

Even though you might want to stay friends, you might deep in your heart be thinking that you will get to be with them again. The truth is though that this might never happen. Maybe they are sad because you aren’t being intimate anymore and they are wanting to be friends because they think that this can go back to where it was.

Here are some other reasons they might want to be friends:

• They Regret Breaking Up

When your ex wants to reconnect with you, they might regret how the relationship ended. Things weren’t good at the time and your ex might feel like you should have been able to work through things and so they decide they want to be friends.

• They See the Good

Being friends with you can be a good thing. It can be something that doesn’t cause their emotions to be so hurt. They also might feel that being part of your life was amazing.

• Friendship

After you breakup with someone that you’ve been with a long time it is like losing a best friend. You might have your ex reach out to you because they want to keep that friendship going because they miss you.

• Peace

Being friends can bring peace to any relationship, even one that ended up broken. You can see that you can be friends even if you were’ able to be lovers.

• They Are Still Single

Some ex’s will come back into your life and want not be friends because they thought that they would end the relationship with you and then they would meet someone else right away. This can mean that they want your attention for now but will probably stop again when they meet someone.

• Changing

There are people out there that are afraid of any kind of change. They know that things are a certain way and when a breakup happens, they miss this. It can mean that they come back to you and want to be friends because they will benefit from you being in their life.

• Control

Some people think that they can control you if they stay friends with you even after a breakup. They will do what they can to be friends so they can feel in control of your life.

• Common Relationships

It can be hard to breakup with someone when you have common relationships with each other. Being friends would be easier if you were always hanging out in the same friend group.

• They Want to Look Good

Your ex might decide that they want to be friends with you because they think it will make them look good to others. Even though the relationship is over, they might want to mend the friendship to have peace.

• Friends with Benefits

Sometimes a guy will try to befriend you after a breakup because they miss the sex you had together. They know that they can get pleased in bed and instead of wanting to make a commitment with you they decide that they can have the best of both worlds by being your friend and having sex.

• They Don’t Want to Lose You

Even though you have broken up, you might have an ex that doesn’t want to lose you out of their life. They might have a hard time dealing with the breakup and instead of moving on they might think that if you are friends, they could have a second chance.

• Memories

Sometimes memories come up in a relationship and this can make your ex want to be with you. If the relationship was positive, they might want to keep the friendship open so that they can continue to grow with you even if it is just in friendship.

Final Thoughts

If your ex wants to be friend, you can decide if this is something that you want or not. Sometimes it might be too painful for you to stay in any kind of relationship with your ex or you might feel that friendship can work. Here are some things that you need to consider:

• Respect yourself enough that if he is just reaching out for something like sex that you don’t give in to him unless it’s what you want. You don’t have to let him hurt your feelings and you don’t have to be with him if you don’t want to be.
• Look at the feelings that you’re having and see if being friends makes sense for you. This should bring you peace and if it doesn’t then don’t do it.
• Being in the friend-zone can be hard for people so you need to make sure that this is something you can handle before you ever say yes to the situation. Look at how you feel. If this hurts, you when you’re out then the best thing is to move on and to not get into that situation. You might want to be friends, but this means that you might see them dating other people and have to be fine with it. Find out if that is really what you want.
• If you have grown as a person and you don’t feel that being a friend is something that will help you to keep growing, don’t do it. Maybe you bettered yourself and got your degree or got a better job. You can find a new relationship if you don’t get stuck in the old.
• They might be selfish. Make sure that they are genuine and really want to be friends or if they are just trying to meet their own needs.
• You have the same friends, and this can mean that you will see each other when you go out. Being friends might be easier if this is the situation so that you don’t feel that you have to avoid them all the time.
• They might want to be friends because they feel that the relationship isn’t over yet. If you feel that it is over, then you might be better off staying away from each other.
• It can be a normal thing to be friends with your ex depending on your heart and depending on how the relationship ended.
• You can tell your ex that you don’t want to be friends and that is okay. If they are toxic, it is best to stay away form them. Breaking up isn’t easy and if you had a hard breakup then being friends might not be the smartest things to do in your life. Get closure that you need and find something new to bring you happiness.

Don’t get tricked into being friends with your ex if that isn’t what you want. You have the right to say no to this and to move on with your life without them.